Suffer Fools Gladly : On Dealing With Difficult People

As soon as i wake up,I'm like:

Pretext:

Then i gather myself and proceed with my morning rituals ( more on that,in another post).Constant Irritation and low tolerance was an issue that i battled with for years.I could not stand dumb/small/petty/cheap talk,moreover i also stayed away from groups that did that led me to become somewhat of a loner.Slightest of behavior or action or talk would get my goat.Watching everyone from my high horse i despised everyone.I lacked any fulfilling relations in my life and felt a constant spiritual void within me.

Needless to say my social life was in shambles because of this.Unconsciously,I took to sarcasm as a tool for coping with my social handicap,but that turned out to be even worse! People came up to me with their petty troubles,

My reaction would be like:

And End with:

There is a reason why i have quoted 2 Corinthians 11:19,after i became mature and aware of the world and its dynamics around me.I realized how things work in the real world and gradually starting adapting to it.After getting exposed to stoicism,I have:

1) Made Strong Friendships with multiple people

2)Multiple relationships with women

3)Come at peace with myself and the state of humanity around me

Still a long way to, i know...

But here are a 5 Steps how i made radical changes applicable to anyone on a similar path:

1). It starts with YOU! : Self-Love and Introspection:

You're Creeping me out,RDJ!

It is very hard to accept this fact,but if you're misanthropic or don't generally irritated with people,there's something about you deep down that you dearly resent.This loathing about that part of you is reflected in the hatred for others as well.Hence, what i learnt is how to love myself,i precisely got in touch with my inner-self (not that,ya perv!) through doing the activities i love to do (going old-school on 'em),met old friends from back in the day with whom i had lost contact.Taking out time to pen down my thoughts (in a journal/diary) and also meditated consistently that gave me profound insights into my own being.

After you know about yourself,learn to accept and celebrate your individuality,this will help you do the same in others,as you'll see no two people are the same and everyone has something to offer for you to learn,only if you were receptive enough.This will kick-start the process of socialization

2). Are those black moles?:Acknowledging your Follies & Faults

Contradictory,i hear you say? Not really,what i highlighted in the previous point was realistic and objective assessment of your personality and coming to grips with it.In this point,what i stress is that you should also be able to find out your shortcomings,weaknesses and cons in order to prevent you from getting all magnanimous about themselves.

This one was very important for me, as it showed that even i was a common mortal with his own flaws and follies.This rocked me off my high horse that i was riding on and brought me back to the ground ...face first! After you make this assessment, DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED!! View them as opportunities for your further growth as a human being and also learn to be humble.

This will annihilate your judgmental attitude towards others,because you know that you aren't sans the flaws you are pointing out in others and start seeing them in a more empathetic light.

3). They ain't mean it,yo!: Realizing the driving intentions behind unconscious behavior

Disclaimer:This is a few concepts that i still practically haven't mastered yet,but i understand it theoretically.

What many spiritual leaders (Sri Goenka,Eckhart tolle) have said that the root of all the violence,harassment and pain caused is due to unconscious behavior.Not clear yet,no probs.Think of a Bully or an overbearing and aggressive boss who is causing pain (through physical or other indirect methods) to other students/employees.This is mostly because the person (bully/boss) hasn't awakened his consciousness and isn't fully aware of his actual reality of being.Meaning if he knew who he actually is and was at peace with the inner and outer universe around him,it would be nearly impossible for him to hurt another being while he's aware of it.

So,most people that hurt,harass or abuse you don't actually mean it,they are just trapped inside the cage of their own contraption of anger/lust/bias,They aren't aware enough to objectively and spiritually gauge their actions,yet.This in no way means, that you put up with their crap,just don't react to it or try anything with the intention of hurting them.Otherwise,you shall fall into the same category.

4). RFLOL...LMFAO: Have a sense of humor 

I cannot stress enough how important a sense of humor is,to have a content,fulfilling and a joyous life.Understanding,that at the end of the day we are all flawed beings running after the illusory carrot while being stuck in a matrix is invaluable for stoic living.Seneca in his letters stressed that one of the strategies to deal with dicks is self-deprecating humor.Thus,learn to poke fun at yourself,this will not only defuse most hostile/aggressive stand offs but also keep your ego in check.

The stoics not only appreciated any caustic verbal abuse against them,but added to it,  This is a great strategy to catch your enemy off-guard and take advantage of his surprise through humor. So use this often and you won't find any reduction in self-belief/esteem but a drastic spurt in self-acceptance . This Video shows you how to:

5). F#%k it! Can't Change 'em: Coexisting peacefully sans changing one another

 This one is a hard pill to swallow (no homo!), most people who strongly believe in an ideology.world view/philosophy/thingamajig cannot stand seeing any opposition to theirs.Its an ego issue that doesn't allow them to accept people with other/opposing beliefs. Hence,they try to rally and impose their beliefs over others by proving they have a moral high-ground or any other bullshit method.Their ego for that belief is so strong that it doesn't allow them to even fathom for a moment that there can be anything other than that. 

The solution:  

Understand and accept that people are different and even their deepest beliefs are more or less a product of their upbringing and conditioning, hence they have a need to be accepted 'as one of their own' and the even the thought of alienation gives them a cold feet. Rarely are times, when the beliefs that are formed are a product of logical volition and intelligent introspective inquiry, in which case the person will be open to any addendum or opposition to his deepest held beliefs. So, now that you know this, don't try to change people as during the process you will squander your time,energy and morale and end up with an L on the counter.

Final Thoughts:

Do what you believe is right and let others be. Don't hold your breath to wait on them to lock steps with you any time soon. Do not expect anything from them and you'll be content,  and... Oh Yeah ...Be Nice too!

You Said it, RDJ!

Peace Out, Peeps!